Love is the Answer
The following excerpt is from Chapter Two, ‘Love is the Answer’, in How to be Loved by God.
The full cover image of How to be Loved by God by Alexander McConnell.
I determined to focus solely on being loved by God. For a time, I would not emphasise loving Him or loving others. I would do nothing but receive.
The results spoke for themselves.
As I meditated on how much God loved me, I felt alive again. My enthusiasm returned, and I longed to spend time with Him.
I no longer felt burdened by the endless demands of a strict Lord. Instead, I felt excited by the limitless supply of God’s grace.
Like Jeremiah, I struggled to contain the burning desires within. The lava of God’s love naturally spilled over into my circumstances.
One evening, I was so hungry to bless someone, I was literally pacing up and down, thinking of something good I could do.
I happened to go on social media and noticed a post from my friend. They wanted someone to bring them a specific drink and some sweets.
I knew they were only joking, but I saw an opportunity.
I went out and bought what they wanted, walked thirty minutes to their house, and delivered the gift.
I messaged them later that night, saying:
God enjoys going out of His way to make your day better. He really loves you.
Not long after this, I met a man on the street. He had a small plastic cup with some coins in it. I approached him and struck up a conversation. He explained that he needed money to pay his rent and was conducting a ‘social experiment’ to see how people would respond.
I found out how much he needed, and my heart lit up with excitement.
I withdrew the full amount from a nearby machine and handed it to him.
He was stunned.
I told him I believed in God and had recently been feeling deeply loved by Him. I made it clear I didn’t expect anything in return.
The man began to cry and asked if we could go for coffee. I agreed.
With the change he had collected, he bought me a hot drink. We talked for hours. It turned out he was a believer but had been struggling with his faith. He said my gesture restored his trust in God and made him want to attend church again.
The satisfaction I felt left me wanting more.
The most amazing part? I wasn’t trying to be good. I simply felt so loved by God that good works kept bursting out of me. I genuinely became hungry to bless others. I felt like I was the one being fed and enriched!
All of this, and more, flowed from not focusing on loving others. I didn’t even consider other people. My sole focus was how much God loved me, and yet I was more selfless than ever.
This directly contradicted everything I had been taught.
The teachers I listened to always reminded Christians that ‘it’s not about you’. I agreed. So I made my life about everyone else. Even my relationship with God was about what I could do for Him.
And the result? Depression, emptiness, anxiety. Burnout was never far away.
But when I chose to focus on being loved, I felt so alive and energised that I actively sought people to bless. I couldn’t keep it to myself—I had to share this love. I had too much of it.
One of the most freeing moments came on a train. For months, I had dreaded sitting near people in public because of the pressure to evangelise.
Every time I took my seat, it was as if a voice spoke to me:
You know, that person beside you could die in a few hours. You may be their only chance to hear the gospel. They might be in hell by the end of today. Are you going to share the gospel with them? No? Well, you are extremely selfish, aren’t you? Because you feel slightly uncomfortable, you will deny someone eternal life. Their blood is on your hands.
My day had barely begun, and I already felt responsible for someone’s damnation.
I knew I should share the gospel, but the constant pressure wore me down. I believed I was selfish and ungodly, but at least I went out on the streets at the weekend to share Jesus. That was something, I suppose.
Even though I was doing more evangelism than most of my friends, I knew I could be doing more.
The heaviness became exhausting. It was impossible to relax without feeling guilty.
But when I finally embraced the truth that God loved me, regardless of what I did, my train journeys became pleasant again.
I sat listening to music, smiling, knowing my heavenly Father loved me, whether I shared the gospel or not.
I felt so happy that my confidence skyrocketed. I struck up numerous conversations with strangers, with no intention of sharing the gospel, yet I often ended up talking about Jesus.
I was studying theology, which always came up in conversation. That led to questions about God. And suddenly, I found myself sharing the gospel with a stranger!
And here lies the paradox:
Feeling obligated to share the gospel led to heaviness, guilt, and oppression. I shared it less.
Believing I was loved, even if I never shared the gospel, led to happiness, joy, and freedom. I shared it more.
It didn’t fit with my old theology, but it made perfect sense with my new understanding.
If love compels us to reach the lost, then the more we let God love us, the more we will want to share the gospel. But to experience His unconditional love, we need to know we are accepted even when we do nothing.
It feels counterintuitive, but it works.
It might sound wrong to say, ‘God loves you, even if you never do anything for Him.’ But that very truth made me want to commit everything to Him.
Let me share one more story.
One night, while I was still experimenting with receiving love, I had to stop watching a television show because I became so overwhelmed. I felt so happy that I wanted my friends to experience this as well. I turned off the television and spent some time praying for their salvation. Usually, I would pray quickly and coldly. However, on this occasion, I did so with tears, because the compassion I felt was so strong.
I knew it had to be the Holy Spirit. The angel had told me the truth:
Love is the answer to all of my problems because not being loved had been the cause of all of my problems.
Are you lacking patience? You need to receive more love—because love is patient.
Are you selfish? You need to receive more love—because love is not self-seeking.
Are you struggling to forgive? You need to receive more love—because love keeps no record of wrongs.
You can apply the same logic to all the characteristics mentioned in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:
Love suffers long and is kind;
love does not envy;
love does not parade itself,
is not puffed up;
does not behave rudely,
does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
thinks no evil;
does not rejoice in iniquity,
but rejoices in the truth;
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
Love never fails.
As Scripture reminds us,
We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19, NASB
Therefore, whatever your problem, receiving more of God’s love is the answer.
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